🏆 Win or Learn: Reframing Failure
The lights are still coming on over the ice. There is nobody in the stands cheering — just a lone skater working in the dark.
Her name is Shizuka Arakawa, and she has her eyes set on Olympic gold. She jumps . . . she falls. No problem. She goes again . . . she falls again. And again. And again.
This is not new to her — she fell more than 20,000 times while chasing her dream. She knew that each time she got back up, she was one step closer to gold.
And yes — she did win it.
🧬 The Insight
It’s really easy to read stories about athletes who persevere and think, “That’s who I want to be,” or, “That’s who I want my kids to be like.”
It seems simple: fail, get back up, try again.
But is it really that easy?
What about when someone says you’re no good? What about when people laugh at your mistakes? Or when you’re so frustrated that you just want to quit?
There’s no doubt that getting back up makes an athlete better. But here’s the truth: none of us can do it alone. We all need people in our corner — people who remind us that standing up is the path forward, people who encourage instead of tearing down, people who help us to our feet instead of telling us we can’t.
🏈 The Story
I was recently coaching an offensive lineman who kept missing his blocks. His head was down, his weight was too far forward, and sometimes he even fell while trying to do his job.
Instead of berating him, I helped him up. I showed him another way to think about it, then ran him through a few drills where, honestly, I expected him to fail again. And he did.
Fail. Fail. Fail.
Then he got it.
The result? The next game, he only fell once — but he had five pancake blocks 🥞.
🔁 The Shift
Failure isn’t the end of the story — it’s the middle.
What separates those who quit from those who grow isn’t avoiding mistakes, it’s what happens after the mistake. The shift is moving from:
❌ “Failure means I’m not good enough.”
✅ “Failure means I’m still learning.”
When kids see each fall as feedback, every mistake becomes a step forward. And when parents model this perspective — by encouraging, supporting, and reframing failure — they teach their athletes that falling down is temporary, but getting back up builds something permanent: resilience.
🧭 The Takeaway
"Be the one who helps them up the last time they fall — that’s when champions are made." -Coach Catalyst
Failure is only final if you stop trying. Each time your child gets back up, they’re closer to who they’re becoming — not just as an athlete, but as a person.
👊 Put It Into Practice
Here are five actions you can try this week:
Normalize failure: Share a story with your athlete about a time you failed and what you learned.
Praise the effort, not just the outcome: Say, “I loved how you kept trying after you fell,” instead of only celebrating the success.
Help them reset: After a mistake, guide them to take a breath, refocus, and try again.
Stand in their corner: Remind them that failing is part of growing and that you’ll always be there to lift them up.
Create small “safe failures”: Encourage them to try new drills or skills in practice where mistakes are expected and celebrated.
🏅 The Locker Room
Mindset Move: DO NOT EVER GIVE UP.
The only people who will make fun of you are the ones who aren’t trying to do what you’re doing.
❤️ The Parents’ Bleachers
Nobody else may be in your kid’s corner, but you should always be.
⚡ BE THE CATALYST
➡️ What’s one failure that actually moved your child forward? Reply and share your story — it might be the encouragement another parent needs this week.