Theyâve been pushing themselves for years⊠sport after sport, season after season, day after day.
Individual lessons. Team practices. Games. Clinics. Tryouts. School.
At first, the routine felt like momentum. But now? They arenât having fun anymore. They dread practice. Their schoolwork is still steady, their performance on the field looks fine, but something isnât right.
What do you do?
đ§Ź The Insight
The pressure on athletes today is higher than itâs ever been.
Part of that is social media â the endless comparison, the highlight reels, the need for likes, comments, and shares. Another part is the pressure to âget noticedâ â by travel coaches, recruiters, or colleges. For some athletes, their entire identity becomes âathlete,â with little room for anything else.
But hereâs the truth: even if they âmake itâ to the next level, they wonât automatically be happy. If their whole sense of worth is built only on performance, the foundation is shaky. And when that identity cracks â from injury, burnout, or simply not being âthe bestâ anymore â it can feel like losing everything.
đ The Story
I know this because I lived it.
Growing up, sports were my identity. Not as intense as kids face today â I didnât have to deal with social media â but still, everything I was centered on being an athlete.
When injuries started piling up, scholarships disappeared. I kept telling myself I could still make it, but eventually, the dream died. And when it did, I was left with a big question: Who am I without sports?
Walking across campus, I felt embarrassed to see old teammates. I hid in my dorm. Depression crept in. The only thing that kept me from going deeper was the strong support system I had around me â my family, my fiancĂ©e.
But not everyone has that safety net. And too many young athletes face that same identity crisis when their sport is taken away.
đ The Shift
We often think resilience means ânever stop pushing.â
But real resilience is knowing the difference between discomfort (which grows us) and danger (which breaks us).
Every athlete needs moments to push â but they also need permission to pause. Recognizing when to rest isnât weakness. Itâs wisdom.
đ§ The Takeaway
Your child is not just an athlete.
They are more than a stat line, more than a scholarship, more than the highlight reel. Their worth isnât dependent on performance.
The most powerful thing you can do for them isnât to make them push harder â itâs to remind them they are valued beyond sports.
đ Put It Into Practice
Here are five practical ways parents can help athletes balance push and pause:
Check in weekly â Ask how they feel about practice, not just how they played.
Build identity beyond sports â Encourage hobbies, friendships, or activities that remind them theyâre more than an athlete.
Model balance yourself â Let them see you taking rest seriously in your own work and commitments.
Validate pause moments â When they need a break (injury, burnout, mental health), affirm that rest is part of growth, not failure.
Talk about Plan B â Remind them life after sports can still be full of purpose, even if athletics arenât at the center.
đ
The Locker Room (for athletes)
If something doesnât feel right, you need to ask yourself:
Am I just avoiding discomfort?
Or is something deeper really wrong?
There were times I wanted to quit just to be comfortable. Looking back, Iâm glad I didnât. But there were also times where quitting â or resting â was the healthiest choice.
If something is off, donât carry it alone. Talk to someone you trust â a parent, a coach, a teacher, a friendâs parent, a pastor. Find the help you need.
â€ïž The Parentsâ Bleachers
Itâs hard to let our kids step back when weâve invested so much time and energy into their sport.
But in the end, the most important thing isnât what they do â itâs who they are. Donât let them lose themselves to performance pressure or burnout. Guard their identity fiercely.
⥠BE THE CATALYST
Have you ever seen an athlete benefit from stepping back instead of pushing forward?
Reply and share your story â your example could be the reminder another parent or coach needs today.
Great stuff! Itâs bonkers how often parents forget to check in with their athletes.