🧠Want Your Kid to Play Better? Step Back.
There are two things we should give our children: one is roots, the other is wings.”
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The Problem
When our kids are little, we control almost everything: how their sandwich is cut, what shoes they wear, when they sleep, who they play with. That’s totally normal.
But as they grow, something shifts—they begin reaching for independence. And sports? That’s often one of the first places they look for it.
This is where it gets hard.
We want them to succeed. So we offer pointers. Then critiques. Then emotional reactions when they don’t play well. And somewhere along the way, the game stops feeling like it’s theirs.
Bruce Brown calls the solution: releasing your child to the game. It means letting go of the idea that their performance is your scoreboard—that their success or failure is a reflection of you.
Before youth sports became a billion-dollar industry filled with livestreams and scouting apps, kids just played. In backyards. On sandlots. No uniforms. No screaming parents on the sideline. They played because they loved it.
That’s what release is about: giving the game back to your kid. When we don’t, we risk turning joy into pressure—and too often, that pressure is what pushes them to walk away.
🧬The Insight
When you release your child to the game, something powerful shifts:
Your child stops feeling like they carry your mood on their back.
They begin to compete with more freedom and less fear.
You parent from a healthier place—not reacting to outcomes, but investing in who they’re becoming.
🏒The Story
One youth hockey dad put it best:
“I have learned the hard way to step back… My 8‑year‑old is a wonderful, sensitive, caring and talented boy. I now focus on behavior rather than performance, and this has helped both of us.”
Before that shift, he did what most of us do. Every car ride was a breakdown of how his son played. Every mistake became a lesson. Every good play became a standard.
It led to stress, anxiety, and worse performance.
But once he stopped evaluating stats and started asking how his son felt, the game changed.
His son relaxed. His confidence returned. He played better.
That’s release in action. It’s not stepping away—it’s stepping back. Letting go of outcomes. Letting your kid breathe.
🔄The Shift
And here’s the real secret: releasing your child doesn’t just help them—it helps you, too.
When you no longer ride the emotional highs and lows of every pitch, pass, or shot:
You become less reactive
You enjoy the experience more
You become the safe space your child needs
And many times… they actually play better.
🧭The Takeaway
It’s just a game. And the game belongs to them.
Let them own it.
Let them fail.
Let them grow.
Let them play.
🏅 The Locker Room
Mindset Move: How to Help Your Parents Help You
If something your parents do stresses you out—tell them. It’s scary, but it’s worth it.
Try this:
“Mom, I love having you there, but I get tense when I hear you yell instructions.”
“Dad, it helps when you just cheer for me.”
Your parents want to help. Be honest—and let them support you the way you need it.
❤️ The Parents Bleachers
Quick Hit: Release ≠ Abandonment
We want the best for our kids so badly… that sometimes we hurt them trying. But it’s not too late.
Try this:
After the game, say “I love watching you play”—and nothing else.
For one weekend, don’t coach. Just cheer. See what changes.
Releasing your child to the game doesn’t mean stepping out.
It means stepping back—so they can step up.
📬 Call to Action
✅ Try the Cheer-Only Challenge
For one game this week, just show up and cheer—no coaching, no critique.
✅ Hit reply
What’s one moment where you stepped back and saw your child shine?