❓The Best Leaders Ask Better Questions
“What people think of as the moment of discovery is really the discovery of the question.”
Jonas Salk
A teammate misses a sign. The dugout gets noisy.
“Wake up.”
“You’ve got to know that.”
“Come on.”
Sometimes leadership sounds like volume.
But the athletes who actually settle a team down usually do something different first. They ask.
What did you see?
What do we need here?
Where should I be?
What are you looking for next pitch?
Good questions calm the moment. They create clarity without creating shame.
🧬 The Insight
In The Coaching Habit, Michael Bungay Stanier builds leadership around a simple shift: talk less, ask more. He argues that strong leadership is not mostly about having the perfect answer ready. It is about using the right questions to create focus, options, and learning in everyday conversations.
That matters in sports because young athletes are often taught to think leadership means directing everybody else. Be louder. Be tougher. Tell people what to do.
Sometimes that is necessary. Most of the time, it is incomplete.
Commands can create compliance.
Questions can create ownership.
When an athlete asks a teammate a real question, two things happen. First, the teammate has to think. Second, the teammate feels seen.
That is a different kind of leadership.
🏈 The Story
Watch the best leaders on good teams and you’ll notice something.
They are not constantly giving speeches.
They are checking in.
What are you seeing?
What do you need?
Are we good here?
What is the call?
What else?
Bungay Stanier says good questions help get to what really matters, and he specifically highlights follow-up questions like “And what else?” because they move people past the first shallow answer into something more useful. He also warns that most of us rush to advice too quickly because it feels efficient and in control.
That is true for adults.
It is definitely true for athletes.
A young leader who asks one calm, useful question in the dugout, huddle, or practice line is often more valuable than the teammate who talks nonstop.
🔁 The Shift
Teach athletes this:
Leadership is not just telling.
Leadership is helping people think.
That means a captain, point guard, catcher, quarterback, or vocal teammate does not always need to step in with a speech. Sometimes the better move is:
What is the real problem right now?
What do you need from me?
What are our options?
What else?
In The Coaching Habit, questions are presented as tools that help people find focus, reduce overdependence, and become more self-sufficient over time.
That is what good team leadership does too.
It lowers panic and raises awareness.
It moves a team from reaction to intention.
🧭 The Takeaway
Questions open doors that leadership cannot force open.
A command can make someone move.
A question can make someone own the moment.
That is a big difference.
If we want kids to become leaders, we should not just teach them how to speak up. We should teach them how to ask better.
👊 Put It Into Practice
This week, give your athlete three simple questions they can actually use:
What do you see?
What do we need right now?
How can I help?
That last one is powerful because it pulls leadership out of ego and puts it into service. It stops a kid from trying to sound important and helps them become useful instead.
🏅 The Locker Room
Leadership Move: Ask Before You Tell
Before you correct a teammate, challenge them, or jump in with advice, ask one good question first.
You may find the team did not need a louder voice.
It needed a better one.
❤️ The Parents’ Bleachers
If you want to build leadership at home, stop asking only outcome questions after games.
Not just:
Did you win?
Did you play well?
Did you score?
Try:
What did you notice today?
What did your team need from you?
Did you help anyone settle down?
What question could you have asked in a big moment?
That teaches kids that leadership is not performance theater.
It is awareness plus service.
⚡ BE THE CATALYST
This week’s challenge:
Have your athlete ask one teammate one helpful question.
Not to sound like a leader.
To become one.