👂Support Through the Ears

"We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak." — Epictetus

Your athlete leaves the team meeting after the game and walks up beside you with their equipment in tow. You want to ask questions, give advice, maybe even fix the mistake you saw them make — or at least point it out as an area for improvement. But before you say anything, there’s a choice: will you listen first… or talk first?

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🧬 The Insight

There’s an old adage that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listening is often the support our kids need most.

Think about how even as adults we sometimes can’t explain why we feel upset, angry, or overwhelmed (and sometimes it’s just because we’re hungry). Now multiply that by the daily stress of being a kid — juggling school, friendships, teammates, siblings, and expectations.

As parents, one of our jobs is to help our kids work through what they’re feeling. Sometimes that means not trying to cheer them up or fix the problem right away. It means letting them feel heard.

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🏈 The Story

During a recent game, one player seemed angry. Instead of correcting him, I simply said, “You look frustrated.” That opened the door. He vented that he didn’t get to play with the starters, saying every year he ends up in the later part of the game.

Just by listening, his frustration started to fade. As he talked it out, he realized his hard work had earned him new opportunities in certain formations. He left the conversation lighter than when he entered it — not because I gave him answers, but because he felt understood.

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🔁 The Shift

Don’t underestimate the power of silence. Support isn’t always about stepping in; sometimes it’s about stepping back.

When you pause and listen, you give your athlete space to process and name their emotions. Once the storm calms, they’re often able to find their own perspective — and your support becomes the safety net instead of the spotlight.

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🧭 The Takeaway

Listening isn’t passive — it’s powerful.

When your athlete feels heard, they feel valued. And when they feel valued, they’re more open to growth, feedback, and resilience. Support starts with your ears, not your mouth.

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👊 Put It Into Practice

Here are a few ways to practice support through listening:

• Wait 5 minutes before giving advice. Let them share without interruption.

• Label the feeling. Say, “You sound disappointed,” or “That seems frustrating.”

• Ask, not answer. Use prompts like, “What do you think you’ll try next time?”

• Mirror back. Summarize what they said so they know you really heard them.

• Hold the pause. Silence can be uncomfortable — but it gives them room to keep talking.

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🏅 The Locker Room

Athletes: Don’t hold it all in. If you’re frustrated, mad, or sad, find someone you trust and talk it out. Sharing doesn’t make you weak — it makes you stronger. Teammates, parents, and coaches can only support you if they know what you’re carrying.

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❤️ The Parents’ Bleachers

Your child doesn’t always need you to fix the problem — they need you to stand beside them while they feel it.

• Listen without rushing to respond.

• Label the emotion: “You seem disappointed,” or “That was a tough moment.”

• Then listen again.

When kids know their emotions are safe with you, they process them quicker and bounce back stronger.

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⚡ BE THE CATALYST

What’s one time you chose to listen first instead of fixing — and what happened?

Reply and share your story. Or forward this to another parent who needs the reminder: sometimes the greatest support comes through your ears.