🗣️Speak to Lift, Not to Impress
“Leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of those in your charge.”
Simon Sinek
You can hear it from the dugout before you ever see it on the field.
One player strikes out and walks back with her head down.
A teammate could say nothing. She could look away. She could whisper to someone else. She could try to sound important by telling her what she should have done.
Or she could say something simple.
“Hey, your swing was on time. Keep attacking.”
That one sentence will not show up in the scorebook. It will not make a highlight reel. Nobody in the stands will probably even notice it.
But the player who struck out will hear it.
And sometimes, that is leadership.
Not the loudest voice. Not the smartest-sounding sentence. Not the kid who gives speeches like a coach. Leadership often shows up in the small words that help someone else stand a little taller.
🧠 The Insight
In Leaders Eat Last, Simon Sinek writes a lot about the kind of leadership that makes people feel safe. Not soft. Not comfortable in a lazy way. Safe enough to compete, take risks, tell the truth, and keep showing up for each other.
That matters in youth sports because teams do not become strong just because they have talent. Talent helps, but talent alone does not create trust.
Trust is built in the small moments.
It is built when a teammate knows she can make a mistake and still belong. It is built when a player hears correction without humiliation. It is built when athletes learn that their words can either protect the team or poke holes in it.
And this is where communication becomes leadership.
A lot of young athletes think leadership means sounding impressive. They think they need the perfect speech, the loudest chant, or the most confident personality. But real leadership communication is usually much simpler than that.
It sounds like:
“I saw your effort on that play.”
“Way to back her up.”
“Good job staying with it.”
“You helped us there.”
“Keep going. We need you.”
Those words are not fancy, but they are useful. And useful is better than impressive.
🥎 The Story
Think about a typical youth softball practice.
There is a player who is struggling to field a ground ball cleanly. She misses one. Then another. Then one rolls under her glove and now she is embarrassed. Everybody knows that feeling. The body gets tense. The face gets hot. The brain starts moving faster than the feet.
In that moment, a teammate has influence.
She can make the moment heavier, or she can help carry some of the weight.
The impressive thing to say might be a technical correction. “You need to get your glove down sooner and move through the ball.” That may even be true, but it may not be what the player needs from a teammate in that moment.
The lifting thing to say might be simpler.
“You’re working. Next one.”
That is not pretending the mistake did not happen. It is not fake positivity. It is a reminder that the mistake does not get the final word.
Good teams need players who can communicate like that. They need athletes who know how to make the people around them better, not smaller. They need kids who understand that words are part of the environment.
A dugout can feel tight, nervous, and judgmental.
Or it can feel steady, connected, and competitive.
The difference is often what the players say to each other when things are not going well.
🔁 The Shift
The shift this week is simple:
Stop asking, “How do I sound?”
Start asking, “Who am I helping?”
That question changes everything.
When an athlete is trying to sound smart, they usually talk too much. They overcoach. They correct people at the wrong time. They may even use leadership as a way to draw attention to themselves.
But when an athlete is trying to help, their words get clearer.
They notice effort. They name something specific. They encourage the next action. They speak in a way the other person can actually receive.
That is a skill.
And like every other skill, it has to be practiced.
We would never expect an athlete to become a better hitter without swings. We would never expect a pitcher to gain command without reps. So why would we expect young leaders to communicate well without practicing it?
Leadership communication needs reps too.
One specific compliment at practice might not seem like much, but it teaches an athlete to pay attention to someone besides themselves. It trains them to look for what is good, useful, and worth building on. It helps them understand that leadership is not about performing for the group.
It is about serving the group.
🧭 The Takeaway
The best leaders do not use words to prove they belong.
They use words to help others believe they belong.
That is a big difference.
When athletes learn to speak to lift, they help create a team environment where players are more willing to try, more willing to learn, and more willing to fight for each other. They become the kind of teammate others want beside them when the game gets hard.
And that is when leadership starts to spread.
Not because one kid gave a big speech.
Because one kid chose to use her words to make another player better.
👊 Put It Into Practice
This week, challenge your athlete to give one specific compliment at practice.
Not “good job.”
Something specific.
“Good job hustling to back up third.”
“I liked how you stayed with that ground ball.”
“You were loud on that cutoff call.”
“Way to keep your energy up after that mistake.”
Specific words carry more weight because they show the athlete was actually paying attention. They do not just make someone feel good. They reinforce the behaviors that help the team.
🏅 The Locker Room
Mindset Move: Speak to Lift
Before practice or a game, ask your athlete:
“Who can you encourage today?”
That one question can shift their focus from themselves to the team. And when athletes start looking for ways to build others up, they begin to understand leadership at a deeper level.
Leadership is not always a speech.
Sometimes it is one sentence at the right time.
❤️ The Parents’ Bleachers
Parents can help by modeling the same thing.
After a game, instead of starting with everything that went wrong, name something specific your athlete did well. Then name something specific you saw from a teammate.
“I loved how you kept talking in the field.”
“I noticed your teammate kept encouraging the pitcher.”
“That was leadership.”
Kids learn what matters by what we notice.
If we only notice hits, errors, wins, and losses, they will think those are the only things that count. But when we notice communication, effort, support, and courage, we teach them that leadership is part of the game too.
⚡ BE THE CATALYST
This week, help your athlete practice one leadership rep:
Give one specific compliment to a teammate at practice.
Not to sound nice.
Not to get attention.
To make someone better.
Forward this to another parent, coach, or athlete who wants to build better teammates, not just better players.