đ§How Will You Lead?
âYou don't lead by hitting people over the head â that's assault, not leadership.â
â Dwight D. Eisenhower
Tasting the blood in his mouth and realizing three of his teeth were gone, the future captain of the All Blacks, Buck Shelford, spit them onto the pitch, shook his head, and kept playing. That act alone would define most athletes. But for Shelford, it was just the beginning.
It was 1986, and the All Blacks were facing France in what would become known as the Battle of Nantesâone of the most brutal rugby matches ever played. It wasnât a World Cup final, not even a qualifier. It was a test matchâa pride matchâwith no trophy on the line. But you wouldnât have known it by watching.
Five minutes later, Shelford was sucker-punched in the jaw. Then before halftime, he took a blow so severe it knocked him out cold. In the second half, the brutality continuedâinjuries that would sideline most players for weeks. Yet Buck fought on. The All Blacks were down 13â0 at halftime, not an impossible margin, but against a ferocious French side in a hostile stadium, the odds were bleak.
He didnât play through it because he had to.
He played because leadership isnât about comfort. Itâs about commitment.
𧏠The Insight
Thereâs no single mold for leadership. Some lead with words. Others with energy. Buck Shelford led with toughness and presence. He didnât need a captainâs title to inspire his teammatesâhis actions made it obvious.
Leadership is revealed when things are hard. And often, the person who is willing to go through the hardest things for the team becomes the one the team naturally follows.
đ The Story
I was coaching youth football, and one kid always stood outânot just because he was fast or strong, but because he never cut corners. When we ran, he was out front. When we talked, he listened. When others got distracted, he stayed locked in.
He wasnât loud or flashy. But he didnât need to be. His consistency became the standard. His example raised the level of everyone else around him. Thatâs leadership too.
đ The Shift
You donât become a leader by accident. You become one when you decide your team needs somethingâand youâre willing to be the one to deliver it.
The Israeli Army uses a formula to evaluate leadership potential:
P Ă M Ă D = Leadership
Potential Ă Motivation Ă Development
If youâve got raw ability but no motivation, you wonât lead.
If youâve got motivation but never grow your skills, same thing.
Leadership comes when all three alignâand you step forward.
đ§ The Takeaway
You donât have to be the loudest voice to lead.
You just have to be the most dependable one.
Not a speech giver? Make your actions louder than words.
Not a star player? Be the best teammate in the room.
Not in the spotlight? Lead behind the scenes.
Leadership is about bringing more to the team than you take from it.
Thatâs something every athlete can do.
đ Put It Into Practice
When I was in high school, I was voted captain by my teammatesânot the coaches. That meant a lot to me. They saw something in how I carried myself every day: how I worked, how I listened, how I responded when things got hard.
I wasnât the guy giving speeches. That just wasnât me. I tried to lead by exampleâby showing up, staying focused, and doing things the right way. But looking back, I wish I had known then what I know now. That leadership isnât just about being steady. Itâs also about stepping into uncomfortable momentsâasking more of others, encouraging the quiet kid, and speaking up when the team needs direction.
Now, as a youth coach, I keep that in mind. At this age, we donât assign captains, but I can already see which kids are starting to lead. The challenge for me is giving them space to grow without controlling everything. Thatâs hardâespecially when you care so much. But real leadership grows when thereâs room to rise.
đ
The Locker Room
Mindset Move: Real Leaders Go First
Want to be a leader on your team? Go first.
Be the first to listen. The first to run hard. The first to say, âIâve got your back.â
Leaders donât wait for permission.
They set the tone with their effort, attitude, and energyâeven when nobodyâs watching.
You donât need a title. You just need a standard.
â¤ď¸ The Parentsâ Bleachers
How to Raise a LeaderâWithout Forcing It
If your child wants to lead, support them without scripting every move.
Leadership isnât about being in charge. Itâs about service, sacrifice, and setting the example.
Want to help them grow as a leader?
Ask: âWhat does your team need today?â
Praise unselfish acts, not just stats
Remind them: leadership is earned, not assigned
Most of all, model it.
The way you handle pressure, support others, and stay consistent is the most powerful leadership lesson theyâll ever learn.
⥠BE THE CATALYST
Hit reply and tell me: Whoâs the best leader youâve ever played with or coachedâand why?
Forward this to a coach, parent, or athlete who shows this kind of leadership. Letâs raise the standard together.