🏆 Comparison Kills
Your athlete just finished up a weekend tournament. They went 6–10 at the plate and pitched 5 solid innings, giving up only 1 run.
At first, they’re buzzing — proud of their performance, celebrating with teammates.
Then the ride home quiets down.
They scroll.
Stats, highlights, and clips from other players start filling the feed — and just like that, excitement turns to doubt.
Suddenly, “good” doesn’t feel good enough.
🧬 The Insight
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be great — or seeing someone better and wanting to close the gap. That drive builds competitors.
But when you only measure the gap between where you are and where someone else is, you lose sight of how far you’ve already come.
In The Gap and The Gain, Dan Sullivan explains that joy and motivation come from measuring backward — from progress, not perfection.
The gain is growth. The gap is poison.
🏈 The Story
This one hits home for me.
As a parent, I’ve fallen into the comparison trap more times than I’d like to admit.
We want our kids to reach their potential, so we show them “what’s possible.”
We send the video of a top recruit or point out what another player can do.
We tell ourselves it’s motivation — but it often lands as, “You’re not there yet.”
I had this talk with my daughter recently. She was frustrated after a mistake, comparing herself to older players. I reminded her how, a year ago, she couldn’t even do X — and now she’s doing Y consistently.
That shift — from how far to go to how far she’s come — changed her whole posture.
She smiled. She relaxed. She went back to work.
🔁 The Shift
We tell athletes, “One game at a time. One play at a time.”
But do we actually teach them to measure progress one day at a time — against who they were yesterday?
Improvement is personal. It’s not a race; it’s a climb.
🧭 The Takeaway
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
— Steven Furtick
True growth doesn’t come from comparing to others — it comes from competing with your former self.
👊 Put It Into Practice
Practical ways parents and athletes can flip the focus from gap to gain:
• Set “before and after” markers — Show your athlete a video from six months ago and compare it to now. Let them see the progress.
• Celebrate micro-wins — New skill learned, faster time, more confidence. Name it. Celebrate it.
• Use language that looks backward — Instead of “You still can’t…” try “Remember when you couldn’t even…?”
• Track effort, not just outcomes — Wins and stats are temporary. Habits and consistency last.
• Model gratitude — When you share stories, include your own progress, not just comparisons.
🏅 The Locker Room
Mindset Move: Measure the Gain
Are you better than yesterday? Then you’re winning.
Keep stacking small gains. Over time, that’s what creates greatness.
❤️ The Parents’ Bleachers
How to Keep Perspective When Everyone Else is Posting Highlights
• Remember, social media shows moments, not the process.
• Ask your athlete, “What’s something you’re proud of from this week?” before asking, “How did you do?”
• Praise their response to challenges — not just their results.
• Protect their confidence by helping them measure progress against their own story, not someone else’s.
⚡ BE THE CATALYST
Reply to this email:
What’s one “gain” your athlete has made in the last year that deserves to be celebrated?
Forward this to another parent or coach who might need the reminder — comparison kills, but gratitude grows.